Threats and obstacles to the success of a youth mentoring program and how to overcome them

Threats and obstacles to the success of a youth mentoring program and how to overcome them

In any one-on-one personal relationship, things do not always go as planned or expected, and mentoring relationships are no exception. Personality clashes, misunderstandings,crossed signals, and lack of direction are all factors that may make for a less-than-satisfactory relationship. Even in the most carefully planned programs, obstacles to success occur. The main thing is for mentors and the directors involved to be aware that a problem exists so that it can be remedied quickly. The followingis a list of obstacles to the successof a mentoring programand how to overcome them.

A "bad" match. No matter how carefully planned and screened, mismatches do occur. Some relationships are just not meant to be. So if, after three to four weeks, a good relationship has not begun to form, the mentor should approach the director to discuss the possible need for reassignment.

Communication problems. Mentors who do not receive adequate training on effective ways to listen and communicate with young people can become confused and misinterpret signals provided by the young person. Mentors must be aware of how young people use body language, make eye contact, and provide feedback. Timing is important; mentors should know when it is their turn to listen.

Serious problems requiring immediate help from the director Program planners should warn mentors about problems exhibited by the young person for which they should seek immediate help--for example, violent behavior, drug use, extreme depression, or suicide threats.

Unrealistic expectations by each person. Unrealistic expectations can be avoided if both the mentor and the student are thoroughly briefed before entering into a relationship. It is important for the young person to understand the limits of the mentor-student relationship. At the same time, the mentor must be aware that building a solid relationship takes a long time.

Problems in taking the initiative. Sometimes mentors are not sure who should take the initiative in making appointments and calling on the telephone. In the beginning, it is best for the mentor to a take the initiative in setting up meetings and arranging activities.

Problems in selecting the right meeting place. Some places are not conducive to meeting with children. Some young participants are intimidated by meeting their mentors in their regular offices. As a result, program planners should set aside a special meeting room in the workplace. The "mentor center" is a comfortable, informal room with couches and chairs, which proved much more inviting to the children.

Problems in ending the relationship. It is important that the student be prepared to have the relationship end. The mentor should give careful thought to the best way of ending the relationship. The director and other mentors can provide guidance.

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