Three Social Techniques To Begin Overcoming Social Anxiety
Three Social Techniques To Begin Overcoming Social Anxiety
First of all, to overcome social anxiety, you must be motivated and be willing to REPEATEDLY practice new behaviors and techniques. You must keep this up until you replace your old behaviors and thoughts when new, productive ones. Here are three techniques to get you started:
Technique 1: Taking Turns Speaking
This technique involves taking turns speaking. Don't dominate a conversation by only speaking. Let someone else take the turn. And try not to be silent all the time. This takes some practice for someone with social anxiety. I used to be very silent, never knowing what to talk about. The best conversations are when you both take turns speaking, when you throw the ball back and forth. In other words, you pass the topic.
It takes two to make a conversation. When talking to someone, it's best to take turns speaking. Like passing a ball back and forth, take turns having a talk with someone. First let someone else do the talking, and when they are finished reply to what they said, or bring up a new topic. Some people talk all the time. They dominate a conversation, and this can be exhausting. So it's best to take turns when speaking.
Technique 2: Self-Disclosure
If you don't talk about yourselfyour interests, values, hobbies, lifestylepeople will not know who you are. After a conversation, they will walk away with a empty feeling, because most people want to get to know other people. Talking about yourself is called Self-Disclosure.
In your mind, make a short list of who you are: what hobbies and interests do you have, how does your lifestyle look like, and what are your values in life? Make sure give people the right impression of who you are. Talk about your life with enthusiasm and people will think you have a great life, even if you have a simple way of life. What you disclose about yourself are good topics for conversation. And while self-disclosing, take turns and also the other person about him or herself.
For example, I like to listen to trance and techno music. And I'm a freelance entrepreneur, living my dreams as best I can. During the weekends, I like to go out, have a drink, and party to house music. And when I'm not partying, I like to chill out at me friend's places. That's a little about me.
One last note, don't talk too much about yourself, don't brag, and don't lie about who you are. Be genuine and real, but that doesn't mean you can make things sound a little more cooler or interesting than they really are. Many people do this. It just a matter of perspective, just don't overdo it.
Technique 3: Asking Questions
Some people ask questions all the time, others don't ask questions at all. The best thing is probably to find balance and be in the middle of this. Asking a question now and then opens people up and shows you are interested in them, which is attractive.
Try to ask a question without hesitation. To do so, you must know it's the right question at the right time. So what's a right question? And what is the right time? Listen to your gut feeling, your intuition. If you feel uncomfortable when asking a question, it probably is not the right question. Or, maybe it was the wrong time to ask that question.
Here's a collection of basic closed-ended questions. You can easily answer yes or no to these questions. How are you doing? What movie did you go to? Where do you live? Where did you go to? Did you have fun there? Do you like going there? How's your sister doing? Of course there are thousands of question you can ask.
But the best questions are open-ended questions. Examples of open-ended questions are these: How did that make you feel? Tell me all about it. How was that experience for you? What are all the cool things that happened during your vacation? What does you work function involve exactly? How did you find the job you now have? To these questions, you cannot simply say yes/no/fine, etc. It takes a longer and more interesting reply to questions such as these.
Again, for these techniques to be succesful, you have to practice them in daily life repeatedly, until they become second nature.
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