Want A Positive Attitude? Youll Need To Change Your Habits
Its not enough to want change, you have to take risks
. You have to be prepared and motivated enough to leave the comfort of what you know and move willingly into that very scary place the unknown.
Yikes! That sounds ominous doesnt it? It really isnt all that scary but there are some very real hurdles one needs to overcome.
One of those hurdles to successfully making a habit change is the fear of taking a risk. Not the bungee jump off a cliff kind of risk well maybe that wouldnt hurt but actually Im talking about another kind of risk.
This kind of risk makes you uncomfortable in your core identity. Like suddenly losing your go to, Im fine here, I know this place and everything that happens here is ok if not spectacular, no surprises kind of comfort level that over the years is the mental place you have lived in. Yes, that would be stepping out of your comfort zone and staying there.
I used to think it was just me but I have since discovered there are actual studies that show when a decision is difficult, most people will go with the status quo or choose to do nothing. And you know, when I read about this it made perfect sense to me. In fact this very principle happens to me daily; I am guessing if you think about it you have encountered this too.
As an example, my wireless contract has expired and the offer for newer, trickier gadget laden phones has appeared on my cell phone three times now. Each time I consider it, realize I dont totally understand the differences in the new phones and the dread of having to learn how to work the new phone enters my mind. Guess what I do. I quickly think my phone still works, I know how to work it and I just dont want to have to deal with it right now; and I do nothing! This process takes about 3 minutes. Sound familiar?
Now think about this process when you are trying to change a part of your personality that has been your comfort zone for years. Really think about what it would take to decide and commit to changing something as central to who you are as your attitude!
Now this is hard, or at least it has been for me. I have tackled a number of bad habits, large and small, including working on being a more positive person over the past few years and here is what I discovered that has made a difference for me:
You need to be clear about what you want to change. Take the time to write your vision of what life or you will be like when you complete this change. What will the advantages be and exactly how will your life change. Make sure this change is what YOU want and you are not doing it for someone else. If you dont own it you will have a difficult time hanging on to it!
It takes serious commitment. You need to really really want this change, believe that it will make your life better and understand the reasons why you want this. Write these down and keep them handy so you can refer to them when you might want to slip. You need a support system. Tell someone your plan; enlist a friend or someone to be your accountability partner.
You need to plan. Decide when you will begin and when you will know you have succeeded. Consider what obstacles you will encounter and WRITE a plan to overcome EACH obstacle. This is an important part of the plan. How will you deal with the overwhelming desire to retreat back to your comfort zone when you begin to feel the pressure of being out of the zone? How you will stop yourself, realize its happening and work through it so you dont simply revert back to the status quo!
Track your progress daily. If you are not committed enough to take the time to write your progress down you are probably not committed enough to make it happen. You need to invest your time and effort. Keep a journal, spreadsheet or whatever works for you and keep it positive. Maintain your motivation with plenty of rewards. By the way, some of the best rewards cost nothing!
Here is what I found is most important. Be gentle with yourself. Realize that you are not perfect and when you do slip up, its OK. The important thing is to learn from the experience, why you fell off and try again. Consider why you slipped, add this to your obstacle list and plan a way to overcome this if it happens again. Go back to the reasons you want this and get back on track as soon as possible. If you fall off, dont wait another week. Get back to your plan quickly. Reward yourself for going back and dont waste time and energy on beating yourself up. When you feel bad about yourself you are not likely to succeed.
Changing habits isnt as hard as you think if you are truly committed and have a plan. You can do this. Once you replace your negative habit with a new positive habit it becomes the go to comfort zone and you will no longer feel uncomfortable there.
by: Deborah Hayes
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