Who Do You Think You Are? How Social Roles Can Determine Success In Life

When people think of playing a role they usually imagine taking a part in a stage production or starring in a blockbuster movie

. For most of us, though, those kind of roles are the stuff of fantasy.

But every day, you actually play all kinds of social roles in your relationships with others. A social role is the part played by a person in a given social context, including typical or expected patterns of behavior.

For example, as part of a family youre a father or mother, sister or brother, son or daughter, cousin, etc. Youre a friend, mentor or role model to someone, or if you have a career you maybe an employee, or boss, or both.

Some social roles, like wife and husband or employee and boss, are determined by the relationship you have to others in your life.

But there are other social roles you play that are often not as obvious to you or even to those around you. These roles are usually ones youve chosen, based on your personality profile and they play an important part in determining how much youre enjoying life. Simply put, while you can play many different social roles, you have a natural predisposition for some over others.

For example many people can learn to sell, but not all are naturally gifted at being a salesperson. Some people find that managing people comes easily and is very rewarding, while others have no idea how to oversee and direct other peoples work.

Success in any role requires a knack for the skills that support that role, and an understanding of the social expectations around it. Just because youre attracted to a particular role doesnt mean you automatically have the needed skills or possess that behavioral style.

Its entirely possible to choose a social role for which you have little or no natural skills (think Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest). When this is the case, its often because the role has been presented as something thats expected, that you should do to please someone important to you or that you need to do to get ahead.

Personal growth always involves change. Sometimes it means changing the roles we play, other times its a change in how we play a role. But it always begins with a conscious understanding of who we are and the roles we play on a daily basis.

Discovering how well your natural skill sets support the roles you play is an important step to attaining Success For Life. This knowledge allows you to have the all important element of choice.

Carry a small notebook with you for the next 3-5 days and make a note of every role you play in your own and someone elses life.

Once you have your list, catagorize the roles into ones you enjoy and do well, and ones you dont take pleasure in. Decide what actions to take to either let go of the unpleasant roles or what behaviors you can adopt to increase your enjoyment of them.

by: Gary Jordan, Ph.D.

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