Why Are So Many People Living Together In Divorce?

Why Are So Many People Living Together In Divorce

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Copyright (c) 2010 Linda ColeWhen a couple decides to divorce there is usually a lot to consider.The family home they are living in may have a mortgage so they will probably want to sell it. Other assets like cars and furniture may have been bought from loaned money so they will be looking at splitting the debt evenly. Many couples have credit cards so this will be another issue to contend with.It paints a pretty grim picture when you look at it because most couples seeking a divorce were once happy together and confident about their marriage. They probably did not ever imagine that one-day they would be getting a divorce.The emotional turmoil that comes with a break up like this would be only a part of the process. A couple will try to work through the animosity or hurt in order to get the house sold, settle the debt and make plans for their children. The problems they will likely face are as follows.1. Houses are not selling well due to the recession and the value of them has dropped considerably. Not great news for a couple that bought in more prosperous times. Many couples are walking away from their mortgages in America because they cannot afford to pay. Getting a divorce in these hard economic times can for some be financial suicide.2. They may have huge debt, which is manageable while they are together but impossible apart. Also neither husband or wife will want to destroy their credit ratings, as this will make their lending power non-existent in the future. Banks have become extremely conservative in their lending since the advent of the recession.3. If they have children they may not be able to afford to pay for two separate homes and the standard of the new residence may not be conducive to raising children in. The statistics show that children from homes where the parents have divorced often develop physical health and psychological problems.It is hard enough for many happily married couples to cope in these lean times so the dilemma of a husband and wife divorcing must be very stressful.There is another way out of this headache and that is for a divorcing couple to stay living together until they can sell their home and settle things amicably. This will only work if each person can cope with the fact that the marriage is over and the common goal is to leave no loose ends.Often one of the partners can be in denial about the marriage ending and can harbor a secret longing for reconciliation. If the husband or wife who has initiated the breakup is adamant there is no chance of this happening. Then the partner with the hope will have to rethink the entire situation as it may prove to be hurtful. On the other hand some marriages have been saved because of one partners belief that it could work.This new process will be a challenge but it is important to remember that the person you are going to be living with during or after a divorce was once someone you loved very much. Relationships we have in our lives can last for a week or 10 years. If we were all able to see that each one of them served a purpose in our growth as a human being the prospect of staying together while working through a divorce would not seem that bad. It is a question of being that better person who can rise above the feelings of hurt and betrayal and work together for the good of all.Living together in divorce is quietly going in the towns and cities of our world and increasing as the times we are living in dictate. It is interesting that 50% of married couples end up in divorce so the fact that many of them are sticking together to avoid potential disaster is remarkable.Human beings in the worst of times such as the world wars have shown they can put all negative feelings toward others aside in a supreme effort to form a united front.

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