Women Business Owners and Codependency
Women Business Owners and Codependency
Women Business Owners and Codependency
Statistically, women owned businesses are not as successful as male owned businesses. According to Census data cited in Jim Hopkins' 2003 USA Today Article "Mars vs. Venus extends to entrepreneurs, too", companies owned by women average $151,129 in annual revenue vs. $582,450 for those owned by men. According to the 2011 Census Statistical Abstract based on 2002 Census data, sales and receipts for female owned businesses are 940 Billion, and sales and receipts for male owned businesses are 7,061 Billion.
I have been giving a lot of thought to why there still is such a disparity. Although I am not a psychiatrist, I think codependency may have something to do with it.
I have been watching the reality TV show Ruby on The Style Channel and how Ruby is coping with her need to lose weight. On one episode Ruby asked herself and had a team of experts trying to determine what is holding her back from losing weight. She lost quite a bit but gained 30 pounds back. There were consistency issues.
Well, one of the experts stated that Ruby needed to reflect on her codependency issues. According to Wikipedia, codependency is defined as:
Codependencyis a tendency to behave in overlypassiveor excessively caretaking ways that negatively impact one'srelationships andquality of life. It also often involves putting one's needs at a lower priority than others while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others. Codependency can occur in any type of relationship, including in families, at work, in friendships, and also in romantic, peer or community relationships. Codependency may also be characterized bydenial, lowself-esteem, excessivecompliance, and/orcontrolpatterns.
As evidenced by Ruby's behavior, codependents have the following traits:
Not wanting to face hardship, pain, sadness, rejection
Surrounding one's self with people that take care of them
Hard to trust people
I counsel small businesses and I have a small business that has seen its ups and downs. I have witnessed these same traits in some women business owners. It seems to be much harder to face fears; the hardship of building and operating a business; the need to be willing to do more and more; and the rejection by prospects. Rejection in the sales cycle breeds shame, fear, and secrets. Also, many women business owners still rely heavily on their spouses, mentors, coaches, colleagues, peers, and friends.
I cannot help but wonder if the fact that women were held in a dependent role to men for hundreds of years here in the United States makes us a bit codependent. I wonder to what extent societal norms make some women codependent on comforting things and if those comforting things cause symptoms that thwart our success. Think about the fact that the Women's Liberation Movement and major publications such as "off our backs" was only 40 years ago.
In Ruby's case, she is constantly being advised to confront what is holding her back and keeping her from losing weight. Ruby is constantly being advised to not be in denial about what she does to sabotage her success, and to not confront the core problems, and her codependency on food and people that take care of her.
When women business owners struggle, they too should confront what is holding them back from earning their goal revenues. Women business owners should be honest about any behavior that sabotages their success, and their codependency on people that may be taking care of them. One business coach told me that she was proud of me because I was a single mom and that there were a lot of women business owners that appeared to be more successful because they could depend on their husband's money. Well, even the single mompreneurs may have men or others in their lives that they depend on perhaps too much.
I say it's time to end the shame, fear, secrets, and pain of rejection. Once these negative things are released, then women business owners can gain their power; and not let their codependency steal their success.
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