Women, Leave Space In Your Busy Life For Yourself (especially At Holiday Time)

We women have so many different parts to our lives

. Just thinking in terms of a personal life and work life doesnt even begin to describe you, I bet.

Just breaking down your personal life can exhaust you.

You are a daughter to your parents (if they are still alive), and that may require time and perhaps emotional if not physical effort. Time to be with or call them; time to deal with their logistic, medical, and emotional problems; time to deal with your siblings who are making life more complicated for you as you try to be a caring daughter.

You may be a sibling and wish you had more time to be with your brothers/sisters because you enjoy them so much. Or, you may wish you had more time to work out the problems you have with them. They used to be important in your life (maybe even back in elementary school, or even in pre-school days), but with so much else draining your energy, they go to the bottom of the list.

You may be a loving wife/partner and although most of your time goes here, there is so much more you might do if only you had less stress in your life. Like, resolving those little nitty gritty issues that continually come up. Like finally talking about what to do about his parents who really dont like you. Like planning for your life once the kids are grown.

You may be a parent and everyone knows that takes a huge amount of time and energy. Probably the biggest amount. But, after handling their everyday crisis, behavior issues, their need for love and attention, their relationship problems as well as the chauffeuring, planning, organizing (and on and on and on), who has time for anything but one more load of wash and drop into bed.

Oh yes. You have a home that requires at least a minimum amount of attention even if only to shovel up the cooties that have collected since you last had time. Oh, and when the sink has more dishes than your cabinets, you may need to garner more energy to wash at least a few.

Dont think thats all for your personal life theres more. Remember your girlfriends? The ones who really help you hold it together if only you had time to talk and be with them? Sometimes, the best you can get is just remembering they are there or talking to them in your head. Except, you know thats not really good enough.

And, finally, dont forget yourself. Arent you entitled to a little bit of attention, to expend a bit of your time and energy on you? No, being with all these people you love is not the same as something just for you.

With the holidays coming, youll probably have even less time. Once they are over, though, perhaps youll find more time to do the things that have to be done and still have time left over for the things you want with the people you love. Dream on! January brings more of the same in terms of personal expenditures.

I havent even begun to talk about work. Work and children get taken care of. You know your responsibilities and you love your kids. Thats whats so tough. You know what must be done and you always put yourself on the bottom of the evolving To-Do List that keeps evolving.

How in the world do you find time to feed yourself literally, but mostly emotionally?

Yet, thats just what you do need to do. Maybe one less load of laundry let your husband/partner or children pull their weight. Maybe one less phone call to your parents doctor let an out-of-town sibling use her (his) telephone.

You know the old saw about what do you want to see on your tombstone certainly not how many towels you folded or meals you made. Or cookies you baked (from scratch) for your childrens class. And, certainly not the thickness of the ice that has built up between you and your partner.

New Year resolutions are not particularly useful since they are often forgotten before the end of the first week. But, heres something you can do. Right this moment (because if you put it off, you wont get to it!) quickly jot down the most important people in your life. Next to each name, write one thing you love doing with that person (even if only sitting and watching a sunset). Then, use your iPhone (or whatever) to remind yourself to do it.

NOW, heres the catch did you include your own name?

In some way, doing this is like the federal government trying to balance its budget too many expenses and too little money coming in. But, the government will find a way to do it. Cuts have to be made. Same in your own life cuts have to be made so you can keep your sanity.

Consider this for your New Years resolution how think about yourself and re-allocate your energy.

by: Dr. Karen Gail Lewis

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