Getting Your Ex Back - Why Experts Recommend No Contact
Getting Your Ex Back - Why Experts Recommend No Contact
It is an inbuilt module in each of us to have a sense of belonging. That is why we join organizations, teams, gangs and so forth. Man is a social being and draws life from being in meaning fulfilling relationships. That is why when a relationship breaks; there is a sense of hopelessness, acute sadness and even depression.
Unfortunately, relationships break up every single day for various reasons. Many of these relationships were rife with misunderstanding, infidelity, and even abuse. But there are those where the couple actually gets back together. This requires a deliberate act of change on one's part and there are sacrifices one must be prepared to make in order to get back together with their ex. Experts recommend a few and one of them has come to be known as no-contact.
No contact is where you resolve within yourself to keep away from your loved one. This is not easy especially if the couple was married and there are children. There are various advantages that can be accrued from having no contact with your ex.
Time for the pain to subside
In any breakup, there are negative emotions involved. More than likely one of the parties in the relationship feels defrauded and cheated. This is more so if infidelity was a key factor in the reasons why there was a breakup. Shock and denial gives way to anger which can quickly degenerate into a blame game. When this happens, it is very easy for the conversations between you and your ex to be poisoned beyond salvage. Time apart gives both of you space to process your emotions and decide whether the breakup was worth it.
Time to assess value
In every relationship, there were good times. The couple had also learnt to share their lives. This includes their dreams and visions and even their aspirations and struggles. These can be very valuable and when the relationship breaks, there is a sense of emptiness. Time apart gives the couple time to assess not just the value of the relationship but also the role that the other party played.
Seek counsel
When the couple are apart for some time, there is time to consult with others who are more knowledgeable in relationship issues. It could be one's parents. Often times it is one's friends who lend a listening ear. This can also be time to listen to your heart and judge for you if the relationship is worth saving. In many cases, the couple has already sort counsel while together. This can be in the form of a priest or a professional. Sometimes, this advice that is accrued here is very valuable. When the couple spends time apart, it gives them time to process this information and see whether it can be applied to their immediate situation.
Experts have come to call this time apart no-contact. It is essential especially if you are contemplating getting back with your ex. It also allows you to become whole again by allowing the healing process to take place. If this is allowed to take its full effect, then it guarantees that you will be someone worth being around when you start relating again.