Improving Your Visibility
Wendy Palmer is a sixth degree black belt in aikido and teaches aikido in Sausalito
, California. She's written many books using aikido principles to help people become more conscious, confident, compassionate, and visible.
Visibility is the capacity to allow ourselves to be seen. When we're visible, we're centered, open, and, ready, and aware of our connection to ourselves, to others and to the environment.
In a recent newsletter, Wendy wrote, "Our ability to influence situations and direct our intention is a function of presence and focus. Presence is the embodied feeling of aliveness that radiates out into the world ... The capacity to maintain the extension of one's field of presence is affected by self-consciousness or concern about visibility."
This quotation increases my awareness of the energy I can devote to hiding my true self. Tom Crum, also a friend and mentor, has said that we spend too much time worrying about our "lampshade," when it's really our light that people want to see. When that light shines brightly, who cares about the lampshade?
Thinking about the concept of visibility helps me notice the times I disclaim myself, contract my energy, or otherwise hide behind walls of fear or self-judgment. I have an ever-present inner critic that tells me "not good enough," or some variation on that theme, way too often. The result is that I don't speak up when I could contribute, and I don't show up when I have gifts to offer.
How visible are you? Do you spend your valuable life energy shining or hiding? Probably both. Can you choose to center yourself, find your light, and shine, even when you want to hide? What might happen?
Perhaps you'll find your energy is welcomed and appreciated. Maybe you'll find that by voicing your opinion and increasing your visibility, you give others permission to do the same. Our vulnerability, in this sense, is our power.
One easy practice around visibility is to notice when you hold your breath. When we're under pressure of any kind, a patterned response is to stop breathing. We usually don't know we're doing it.
You can increase visibility by becoming more aware of this pattern. For example, notice how many times you hold your breath in the next hour. Extend it for a longer period if you like, but an hour is long enough. As soon as you catch yourself, you can breathe again. You'll be surprised how often you stop.
Another visibility practice is to begin to notice when tension lodges in your body, where it occurs, and to let it go. Check it out right now. How is your forehead, your jaw, your tongue, your eyelids? Not to mention shoulders, lower back, and joints. At first you may think you're relaxed. As you connect more deeply with these different areas, notice if there are subtler levels of tension you can let go of? Usually there are.
This tension affects how we experience the world and how flexible we can be in managing what the world sends our way - in other words, how visible we are willing to be. When you begin to practice being visible, you'll notice the impact on family, friends, and coworkers. You will, in fact, be influencing your environment in a new way.
by: Judy Ringer
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