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Positive Attitude And Staying Fired Up

When I was young my mother used to repeat a familiar saying Birds of a feather all flock together

. Generally she used this saying when she did not want me to date a certain person. Someone she felt was too old for me, or too wild, or too whatever! Of course I thought she was just being strict and didnt really know what she was talking about. When I became a mother all that old fashioned advice suddenly made perfect sense. In fact it was then when I realized how many times she saved me from taking a wrong path. Sound familiar? Of course we midlife women may chuckle at some of the advice we were given back then but a lot of what we were told is literally golden and apparently timeless.

The truth is who we spend our time with and what we spend our time doing and thinking does seem to be what we become. Such sound and simple advice we freely give to our children and yet, as adults, its easy to forget the significance it holds for us.

For instance, years ago when I was first learning to play golf I always played with people who were much better than I. In fact I often wound up playing with a scratch golfer. Later, my golf mates became people who were more at my level and the difference in my game was apparent. On the days I played with the better golfers my game was markedly better. The next week when I joined my contemporaries, my game and score was worse.

Its not just sports, think of groups and friends you have shared time with and recall how your interests and vocabulary eventually matched theirs as you became one of the groups.


This is not rocket science. It is the reason you become bored when you join your husband or mates working friends for a night out. Somehow they are engrossed in discussions about their job, industry and people you dont know and you are absolutely bored to tears and vice versa when he joins you with your girlfriends or workmates.

So we know this but how is it that most of the time we dont notice when things or people are sucking our energy and lowering our enthusiasm?

As an experiment, the next time you happen to notice you arent as motivated and are having trouble staying positive take a day and consciously notice the negativity you are encountering. On the day you choose, either take a recorder or make a point to STOP during the day and note who and what is negative.

--Is it someone who constantly has a negative comeback for everything you comment on?

--Is it spending time with someone who is self depreciating? Trying to pump someone up who is simultaneously trying to drag you down to their energy level is drain-ing!

--Is it a place that you may or may not have to spend time in that is full of sad or negative people?

--Is it music you happen to be listening to on a regular basis?

--Is it television? (dont get me started)

Take notes on this day and see just how much negativity you are exposing yourself to and what its doing to your attitude. What have you been saying to yourself as a result?

Now for the last part of the experiment, on the very next day plan a power positive day. Make a commitment and conscious effort to surround yourself only with the people and things that bring you joy.

--Make a date with one or two of your most fun and positive friends.

--Pick up or rent a couple of feel good movies that are your favorites.

--Purposely listen to music that makes you want to move and feel good. Upbeat stuff.

--Plan to do one exercise activity on this day as well, even a short walk.

--Make it a point to visit a special gallery, park or store you love to browse in.


--Read an inspiring book or finally tackle that creative craft or project youve been planning.

Expose yourself to as much positive energy as you can on this day. Then make notes about how you feel and what your attitude and energy level are on this day and compare the two.

These days our worlds are complicated and busy. So much so that we fail to hear or notice the negativity that surrounds us and the subtle symptoms we experience as our energy and attitude lower. Rare is the person who can withstand being surrounded with negative energy and still maintain a positive perspective. Of course its impossible to completely avoid every negative person or environment. However if you want to stay fired up and maintain a positive attitude be aware and careful of the kind of energy youre subjecting yourself to. Balance the negative with healthy and strong doses of positive energy and people.

by: Deborah Hayes
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