Important Steps For Building Self Confidence

Self confidence can be fleeting

Self confidence can be fleeting. It can be difficult to attain and easy to lose. We are a nation of go-getters. We strive for perfection in all areas of our lives, and this can set us up for discouragement. We have a fear of failure and heap unreasonable expectations on ourselves. These can cause a low self esteem. If we define ourselves by our failures or constantly worry that we will fail again, we will never be able to see our true worth and experience the peace that self confidence can bring. However, it simply is not necessary to live that way. We can experience that peace by building self confidence. There are several things that can help.

1. Focus on the positive

It's easy for us to recall all of the things we haven't done well and difficult to remember the things we have. It is important to remember our successes. We learn from things we do well, and we all deserve a pat on the back for a job well done. Focusing on the positive things we've accomplished can be a good reminder of how far we've come and an effective compass for where we want to go.

2. Remediate the negative

We all have things we'd like to change and some traits warrant a change. Maybe it is procrastination or time management that presents a struggle. Self improvement can be a positive step in building self confidence.

3. Don't set yourself up for failure

We tend to set unrealistic goals for ourselves and then feel discouraged when they aren't met. It is self defeating to set the bar so high that you are certain to fail. Set reasonable goals and reassess them frequently. Celebrate the successes and adjust your goals accordingly.

4. Do what you fear

Fear can keep us from our goals and can have a strong hold on our lives. Often, that fear is completely unfounded. Step out of your comfort zone and do something that you would normally be afraid to do. Consider an opportunity to speak in front of a group or participate in an activity that you know little about. Take a class in dance or cake decorating. Just do something that you would typically shy away from. It is a terrific way to work toward building self confidence as well as meet new friends.

5. Don't be so serious

We've all heard that laughter is the best medicine. It may not cure what ails you, but it sure goes a long way to make it more bearable. It is inevitable that we will eventually fail at something. Learn to laugh at your mistakes and move beyond them. Look at it for what it really is; a simple mistake. Everyone makes them and successful people make even more. It's part of learning and an experience that can help you grow. It is easy to beat ourselves up and feel down when our goals aren't met. When you learn to see the lighter side of life, little things remain little things and don't feel like huge disasters.

Building self confidence is a process. It takes time and determination. It can be as simple as recognizing your successes or a long, complicated experience as a person discovers his or her value.

by: David Wheeler

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