Working as a Relationship Counselor for Married Couples

Working as a Relationship Counselor for Married Couples

Marriage counselors, or relationship counselors for married couples, analyze marriages in an attempt to help couples reconcile problems in their relationship. Helping couples avoid divorce by recognizing problems, admitting mistakes and working through issues are the main goals of a relationship counselor. Couples often decide to divorce after many years, such as Al and Tipper Gore, but a good marriage counselor will help the couple reconcile differences and regain trust. Here are a few topics that marriage counselors often focus on:

1. Past

Each person's upbringing and memorable life experiences play a significant role in the functionality of his or her personal relationships. When analyzing the past of each patient, a counselor must listen closely to discern any events that have had a lasting negative impact on the individual, then consider how that may affect his or her relationships. Another important thing the counselor should try to discover is how a patient's parents behaved in spousal relationships, because many times people will mirror what their parents practiced.

2. Work

Today most couples are both members of the workforce, but some marriages consist of a housewife and a working husband. Either way, many marital issues may stem from work-related problems. In the case of couples who both work the counselor must look for signs of resentment or feelings of an unequal balance. These feelings of inequality may be a result of differences in salary or work hours. Counselors should also look for signs of resentment stemming from these problems. Since most couples have an unrealistic view of what the other actually does, many times the counselor will help partners gain empathy and understanding of eachother's work situation.

3. Children

Children often suffer as the result of a bad marriage. A relationship counselor needs to identify each couple's personal views on discipline, their opinion of the other spouse's parenting style and the feelings and concerns of each person. Relationship counselors will look for imbalances in parenting styles to determine if that is an issue in the marriage. Also, the counselor will look for signs of depression resulting from parenting. After the problems have been identified, the counselor will explain how these issues relate to negative psychological factors and show patients how to compromise to work out these issues.

4. Intimacy

Intimacy in its true sense relates to how couples connect on a personal and spiritual level. Obtaining information from couples about how well each one knows the other will open the avenue for discovering latent sexual issues. Each couple should be asked about their views on sex, their partner and his or her performance.

5. Outside Relationships

Married couples often have a circle of either personal or mutual friends. By learning more about each partner's friends, the counselor will be able to determine if any friends are causing harm to the relationship. Alternately, couples who lack adequate healthy social contact should be encouraged to seek platonic companionship outside the marriage..

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