How to Get Through Someone Close to Us Who is a Sexual Addict

After we have learned about sexual addiction, its symptom and effects

, we may now face a difficulty wherein the sexual addict is someone close to us. How do the partner, relative or friend deal with the problem? How can we help the addict overcome the addiction? The acceptance of the fact of the addiction could be equally hard to the loved ones, but such recognition is the first step to overcome the obstacle. Friends and relatives could be the first counsellors before the sexual addict even seek professional help. This is because the addict's greatest fear is rejection. He is in a stage of shame, low self-esteem, intense anxiety and moral conflict and the person next to him whom he thought could help him handle the predicament is probably his partner, family or closest friends.

In many instances, denial is always the first phase. If we knew that a person is sexually addicted and he is aware and willing to stop his acts but refuse to accept the fact of his being a sexual addict, there are ways in which we can help our loved ones overcome or at least manage sexual addiction. Here are the ways: First, Do not shift the burden to you. Everything is still in the hands and control of the addict. The solution to every problem is still at him. Our only role is to gradually let him accept things, understand the situation and give help the best we can. True enough, the loved ones also go through the denial stage, most especially if the addict is a husband or wife, girlfriend or boyfriend, sister or brother or our closest friends. But before the addict can open himself to acceptance, it must start first with those people giving aid.

Second is that the partner should be realistic. When confronted with this kind of situation, understand that's each person's coping mechanism may differ. Meaning, the addict may relatively overcome the addiction quickly or it may take some time.

Third is giving the addict credit for his simple success or accomplishments. The moment that the addict recognized his weakness, he succumb himself to low self esteem. He loses his self-confidence and may not know the right thing to do. Giving credit for his simple success could regain his self-confidence little by little.

Fourth is that the partner should not take the blame for his addiction. Normally, when the partner found out that the addict is engaged in multiple relationships or any act which might be associated with sexual addiction, the first reaction is to blame the partner or blame one's self. Oftentimes a submissive partner would feel that there is discontentment in their sexual activity which caused the other to venture to some other sexual acts. It must be clear that the cause of the addiction is not the partner. There are root causes of the addiction. It is true that the initial response upon knowledge of the addict's disorder can be anger, but the partner should be the person whom he can turn to especially by the time he accepted his weakness. Blaming, anger and rejection might not help and can even aggravate the situation.

How to Get Through Someone Close to Us Who is a Sexual Addict

By: Christina G.

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